Tips for new immigrants to successfully integrate into Israeli society

As an American ex-pat who has lived in Israel for 30 years, I’m always interested in helping new immigrants make a successful transition into a challenging new chapter of their life, but so much of that success depends on why they came to live here in the first place. 

After reading a recent article entitled, “Life in Israel: 13 lessons after 13 years of aliyah,” it became clear that, amongst those who come to live here as new immigrants, some never quite fully shed that status, even after many years.  There is a reason for that.

Rivkah Lambert Adler, the writer of “13 lessons after 13 years of aliyah,” has come to appreciate so many things about her new country but, nonetheless, still struggles with some hurdles that have been difficult for her to overcome.  Perhaps, her greatest is believing that she will always be an immigrant. She attributes that to “cultural things that go on here which she will never understand.” Part of that, she explains, is the bureaucratic red tape which is a thorn in the side of many, but which can often be avoided with a lot of planning, preparation and doing one’s homework in advance.  

A successful aliyah begins with coming fully prepared, and that demands a great deal of research. Prospective immigrants must bring the paperwork which is required to show proof of Jewish identity, and, although the Law of Return does not demand it, today’s Interior Ministry clerks are looking for a strong and continuous connection to the Jewish community as well as the religion. This would require a letter from a local rabbi. Not everyone who wants to immigrate, however, is religious or affiliated, but that is still required. Yet, even with documented proof and impeccable paperwork, applications can be slow-walked, if someone is suspect and, sadly, many fall into that category. So it helps to have friends in high places.

But, the purpose of this article is to more center on those who have already been meticulously scrutinized and accepted. They have arrived. Now what? 

If you aren’t fortunate enough to have a job waiting for you, there are two things which are essential – even imperative in order to manage successfully. They are: Come with as much money as possible and the ability to reasonably converse in Hebrew. If those two things are in place, there’s a chance that most everything else will work out – so long as the third thing is also in place. That is the overwhelming desire to be here, see Israel as your only country and take measures to immerse yourself into the culture.

In my case, knowing that I wanted to live here, ten years prior to my arrival, I took course after course, in Hebrew, giving me the ability to manage a conversation in most circumstances. That was before smartphones, as today, Google Translate can become your own personal translator should the need arise.  

A wonderful option is applying to live on a kibbutz, if you’re under 40. This was my own experience, and my first year was spent ironing clothes for seven hours a day in the laundry facility. There, with the radio on throughout the day, I learned Israeli music, the names of the singers and got to hear Hebrew from all of the other workers. It was the perfect way to get immersed both in the culture and the language. Watching lots of Israeli television in the evening was also helpful.

If you come with a family, and a kibbutz is not an option, the best possible living situation would be to reject the temptation of moving to an area, where most of the residents come from your country and speak your language, because once you get into that comfort zone, it’s almost impossible to get out of it. While it might be wonderful to have a support system, through close friends who came earlier, making friends with other Israelis is one of the most important things that can be done in order to identify with the locals.

There is no question that forcing yourself to speak Hebrew is not comfortable. I remember a few times that I felt as if I was banging my head against a wall. However, determination is everything, and the aggravation, discomfort and personal humiliation, suffered by often sounding like an idiot, is well worth the few annoying years that it will take before you finally turn a corner and speak fluently.  

Once you do, however, you can enjoy the perks of theatre, lectures, Hebrew films and so much more. You will feel as if you can chat with whomever you want, whenever you want, and, perhaps, most importantly, you will be able to handle your own repairs, medical issues and fight for your rights, just as all other Israelis do. 

Switching over to the metric system is not nearly as complicated as Lambert Adler makes it out to be. After going to the supermarket a few times, you learn what a kilo is very quickly, and after a few months, Fahrenheit temperature is no longer an issue, because you just memorize the new numbers.

There is no question that adapting and integrating is most complex for families with children who are over the age of 7. Often, those kids can have a rough time fitting it, but not always. It also depends on how sociable those children are, and how much they want to fit in. Kids can thrive, but they have to be encouraged to do so. The right school can make all the difference, but homeschooling, although easily justified these days, will not facilitate their learning the language and blend into the culture – a very crucial step in their social adjustment.  

This is where networking, as Rivkah says, is so useful. Although, she, personally, networked with Anglos, networking with other Israeli parents, in order to form bonds between kids and adults, can help to forge deep relationships and a sense that you are part of their community as opposed to being part of a group who lives in Israel but still thinks, talks and acts as if they never left America.

Being an immigrant parent is not easy, because they have a double challenge.  They must, first and foremost, make sure their kids are okay. In order to do that, they must closely monitor their children to see if they’re connecting, up for the challenge, ready to give it their all and enthusiastically embrace their new surroundings. It cannot be taken for granted. Children need at least one or two good friends in order to feel part of things and, without that, problems will surely arise.

A good thing to do would be to have a “daily family reckoning,” in order to discuss the many challenges, difficulties and also accomplishments that happened to each family member, because those will also occur. Mutual encouragement can go a long way on the days which feel as though less progress is being made. 

Rivkah Lambert Adler, in the midst of her challenges and obstacles, acknowledges that life in Israel, despite its snags, has benefits that can be found in no other place. She describes them as the amazing people who live here, the weekly celebration of Shabbat, around a beautiful dinner table, the very tasty produce that no other country rivals, the caring neighbors who have come to her aid when needed, the wonder of materialism being immaterial, and, perhaps, the greatest pleasure of all – seeing others finally come home to the only Jewish country in the world – the land given to them by God.